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Sunday, November 12, 2006

divorce. it's official  

posted by Michael Piwonka 8:14 PM
This past Wednesday I received a letter from Penny's lawyer containing the Judgment of Absolute Divorce, signed by a District Judge on November 1, 2006.

And so that's that.

I can add another chapter to the experiences of living. April 27, 1991, through November 1, 2006; just like everything else in life, my initial thought is where did the time go?

With the 1-year minimum separation required by North Carolina law my perspective is better than it was when I learned that my marriage would be ending. A year ago I would have said that the previous 14 years were a big mistake, that I had wasted precious time, that I had been misled. A year later, those years don't seem like time wasted. Obviously, Allie and Mason are beautiful products of that life; they make everything worthwhile.

But more than that, I now recall the memorable moments, the incidents that make life life. The vacations, the trips to the hospital (either for a magical birth or an emergency visit), the first days of school, the cross-country trips. The laughs, the tears, the hope, the excitement and the fears. Those are the things that I will remember.

The future looks bright, also. Watching Allie and Mason grow is exciting, as I grow with them.

I sometimes feel that sad that I can't be with them all the time; I grew up with certain expectations of what a dad should do, but now my role has changed. I will not realize my vision of being physically there everyday. But I am there emotionally, and I believe Allie and Mason know that.

I'm also buoyed by my family and many great friends.

As far as Penny is concerned, I don't know if her plans to marry Charlie will happen sooner or later, but I can honestly say it doesn't matter to me anymore. I wish them well.

A year ago I could intellectually say that I wished them well, but emotionally I didn't really mean it. Today I wish them well. Period.

Receiving the official document in the mail was actually a non-event, having mentally prepared for it during the past 12 months. It has prompted me to spend this time waxing nostalgic, but now I'll just file it away with other important documents. I wonder if I'll ever look at it again.

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random. arbitrary. completely unnecessary. yet refreshingly therapeutic.




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